what a day . . .. .

hello friends..

Wow it is atually so strange to actually so called write my personal diary on line so that everyone can read abt my thoughts and all. However, i guess it is super challenging as i think this is the best way where all of us will be in touch with each other as some would not be able to make it for sharing or sessions.

Currently, i am in my dept computer room all alone there after a project discussion. I was just thinking of what should i share for my reflection today. it is another montonous day in school where i am simply lost in my studies. not knowing what the lecturers were teaching and the speed they taught was like they are rushing to "heaven". as i try to keep myself awake at lectures .. doozing off along the way.. i questioned myself . .hey why am i here for.. what am i doing all these for. then i pondering n thinking. i must praise God for this gift to be able to study as not many pple are given this opportunity. I am not here in NUS becos i am smart. cuz to be frank i am not.. truthfully i am not at all.. it is the grace from God that he has put me in here. so what i truly one from my stay here in NUS?? it has been almost 2 yrs i am there n i will be graduating next april if everything goes smoothly.. it is a question that i am trying to find out. U know what.. this quest "are you gg to be a civil eng?" has been asked by my classamtes to me serveral times today. My ans to them was "NO!"... so then what . . . . .

for me the greatest highlight for my day today was to meet up with my godson for lunch. it is always amazing to hear his sharing as he always tells me that he is growing in his faith n how he is able to see God in his studies and all the things that he is doing. n how excited he is yearning to exp God in his retreat tis weekend. I was like hey "kenny, are you excited for God?" .. many a times my r/s with God is like wow.. he s good today to me n the next day i will go into my self centeredness abt who god is to me. when i am down i will never see God in all these. a very good reflection for me.. i guess i fall into this category of what pple always say"You do not preach what you say". anyway i will carry on.. then he asked me a quest " Do you know why my facilitator asked me to carry a piece of granite everywhere throughout the whole week n bring that same piece of granite for the retreat?" i was like hmm........... i think.... i think... i thought i know the ans but i come to know that i do not know why... at that pt i was like hey i still have alot of things that i do not know.. i realise that i am so limited n God is unlimited..God speaks to us in many ways even through a piece of granite. i have not been listening but hearing ......

i have to stop here.. heading home after this.
i hope my blog make sense.. first time trying this out.. i will share more deeply in the days to come..

Kenny