at the top

just a short reflection:

my fren has been asking me the whole of the past wk if i wanted to go climb Mt Ophir with her. and i was thinking i'm so so so lazy to climb a mountain! and though i wanna go see the scenery, i think of the journey, the climbing, the tiredness, all the lactic acid i'd feel in my legs, the grime and dirt and the insects? haha, i was like huh..... dun want. haha! i noe its quite uncharacteristic of an ex-outdoor activities club member. but yeah.. that was exactly what i was thinking la. then i was like if i could just go right straight to the top to watch sunrise and just appreciate the beauty there, i'd go!

so i thot wah i always want the easy way out, like in this case, i just wanna reach the top and stay there without any effort required on my part. i likened the 'top' to be a place of peace and happiness or something that is good la, generally. then i realise in the same way, the reason why my spiritual life hasnt been very good throughout the wk and then in the wkends especially during sessions i'd be all inspired and feel good abt everything.. its the so called 'high' feeling we get after a session where we experience Him. and then i wanna just stay there and be unrealistic and not come down. haha. like in the transfiguration, where the disciples just wanted to build tents and stay up there.

so similarly, the trek upwards to the top is just the same as my daily prayer life, or rather my relationship with God. though sometimes i'd feel very alone on this journey and dont feel His presence, i realise the importance of this 'trek' up that 'mountain', cos along this walk, only by experiencing the highs and lows and the dryness of this spiritual journey, can we only experience the fullness of the joy we'd experience at the top. (:

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hopefully my incoherent thoughts can be understood. haha! (: