To challenge, only with love and compassion

hey cellies (haha i saw melch using this word to address everyone, and i thot it's quite a cute way to call everyone, so i'm using it too)

first to melch: i know how you feel about being judged about going out on friday nites to drink and party and i'm sorry you feel that way, really. but if there's no one to tell you yet, let me be the first. that i really appreciate the fact that you make an effort not to have a dual life inside and outside of community, honesty and truthfulness never fails, and i'm glad you chose to stick by it no matter what people say. and i think i really see the conversion and transformation in you in your desire for God and for holiness. most important of all, i hope you will continue to believe in the love and acceptance of the community for you, cos that was what community was set out for.

to all others, perhaps we were struck by what johnathan said about challenging each other. and i agree with him, perhaps it is time we step up more in challenging one another. however i hope we will not become arrogant when challenging, becos there is a loving and right way of being challenging and there is an arrogant and condemning way to do that, we MUST be careful to deliver our message of challenge lovingly, for the good of that person, not just for the sake of challenging, because challenging for the sake of perfecting the other without compassion, can be destructive. also as we challenge, we have to be consistently loving, not a one-off harsh telling-off. becos only consistent, patient and persevering true love and compassion can change the heart of the one in need of the challenge. and the person in need of that challenge can tell the difference.

and mel i can relate to you too when you said you were thinking of leaving, but ultimately it's not about OUR choices but always about God's choice and decision. and haha i was already thinking of taking a step back from comm since my sister's confirmation (i told myself that would be the last project that i'll do for MSC), but somehow, God just keeps saying to go on and on and on.... and what u said was good reminder for me.

now for my sharing. talking about honesty. it's hard, really hard. for me, the great struggle is in my relationship. it is the place where i give the greatest yet fall the hardest. esp with a partner who has no clue what Christian chastity is, you can imagine i'm trying to do the impossible task of convincing and living up to it. and of course, more often than not, i fail. and like what Fr Gerard say, we can soon lose the sense of sin when everything becomes relative. so if everyone has the deepest darkest corner of their heart that they cannot give to God, mine will be this corner. i used to get into a lot of stressful and tormentous arguments becos of this, trying to be the perfect pharisee, but now i've grown tired of fighting it with my own efforts, and have slowly turned to God for grace and strength. now i'm just trying to surrender. this is one area of my life that i never dared shared, but perhaps we are all called to put our nets further out into the deep. and perhaps i seek to be freed from this slavery of the need to hide this part about myself.

ever-lynn