testify to love.

i didnt plan to blog here today, but i read everrrrlynnn's post and was so amazed at the timely-ness of it! haha.

yest, while studying i was very distracted by some haunting questions. how am i fulfilling my purpose in building God's kingdom when im living my life stuck in the library studying in school. so during lunch i shared with my friends and i was telling them that i can say for now studying is my vocation so i will lift up the day of studying as a form of worship and ya, im doing all this not for my own glory but for the glory of God, but that's a very know-in-the-mind kinda thinking and how much of that do i believe in my heart? for all i know, i may be just studying so hard (ok, quite hard la..) just to get good grades to keep the record, or just so ppl will hold me in higher regard or sth. in short, just to glorify myself la.. and that was disturbing.

one of my friends then said that it's in the realisation that it was by His grace that God brought us through this stressful period and being grateful and giving Him the glory by testifying and sharing with people this whole experience, that we are building His kingdom. and i was very struck by this and was very affirmed again, of the power of sharing and testifying to His love.

went for mass yest evening and felt really challenged by fr richards' sermon. he asked us, What do u want from God? What are you praying for? things of this life or of virtues and values that are more important for our life with Christ in eternity. What is our faith rooted in? How do we know if the things we are doing for God are the things He wants us to do for Him?

and he told us to pray more and discern. haha. yes, discern. i was there thinking, 'oh no.. not that word again! i dunno how to discern!!' and haha.. my answer arrived in the form of everlynnn's sharing! (: yayness.

but.. alot of questions to think about..

and erm, im not going for session tmr! mon morn paper i haven finished studying!! die..
no no wun die! cannot die. haha..