Discernment is not in the big things; it starts in the tiniest of matters in our daily living

hi ppl,

had a very tiring but much better week this week than the last. am so sian now, cos it's sat and i've no plans and it's boring yet i have to mark test papers but i dun feel like and blah blah blah...

last nite had core meeting and i was there slightly late, didn't have a chance to go ado before that. was tired and not really in the disposition to discuss and listen to God. was deciding whether to go for ado first but somehow decided n ot to. how easily i fall into temptation like this and how real that temptation comes one after the other. the moment u fall for one, it becomes easier and easier to fall for another in the next few hours. cos wat happened was, i planned to go for evening mass, but somehow didn't feel as terrible a struggle in work as the previous week, so somehow jus didn't decide to go. felt that it was unfaithfulness on my part, like jus cos i dun really need the peace and quiet, i didn't think mass was that impt and jus didn't put it as priority. and simply allowed other things like work take over precedence. and then when i went to church for meeting, act wanted at least a longer prayer time, but jus didn't make sure i had that cos jus simply allowed myself to "go with the flow". so while waiting for jean, had a chance to go ado a short while and told God that i acknowledge this unfaithfulness and so i will make up for it by going morning mass. again it was tempting not to go, cos when i woke up in the morning, i realize my dad could be using the car. svdp mass ends at 730am and he needs the car at 745am. i'm like: maybe shouldn't go cos i may be late and then my dad will be late. i went back to sleep. after lying down for the next 30 seconds, i know the gnawing feeling that i was going through temptation and it will come one after another and it did, each one more serious then the previous time. so finally i literally pulled myself out of bed and went for mass.

how subtle these things can pass us by. more often than not, we're too caught up with what we feel, what we want to do, what makes us more comfortable that we have no more energy and time to think about being holy to listen to God to do these tiny and seemingly unimportant things. but it's really in listening in these small matters that will teach us and give us the platform to listen to Him in the big matters like vocation, career, marriage, studies, attachment, overseas exchange programmes, holiday job and internships. why is it that we find it hard to discern? cos we thought that discernment only comes in the big matters, but that's not true. discernement must be first experienced and practised in the tiniest matters of our daily living before we really know and understand the workings and movements of the Holy Spirit. To understand the workings and movements of the Spirit is to be able to identify what is God saying when certain events happen in a certain way. how often do we seek His Will in our lives in the tiniest matter? are our lives and our time truly ours to keep, to control, to decide, to dictate, to claim and to possess? What happens to the Holy Spirit living and working in us like wat St paul said?

May God reign in the tiniest matters of our daily living.
Lynn