Humility is not enough...

hey good morning ppl (altho it's 9.30pm at nite now)

thanks cons for researching for us on the blood and water thing. shed more light on us now, it's brighter ard here, hehe.

this morning as i went to school, dunno why instead of the usual monday blues, i felt different. i felt as tho there was really nothing much to worry and be stressed about, tho previously i was stressed that other teachers were having an expectation on me to keep my class in check. but today, i simply took a step back. tried to go into class with as empty a mind as possible. trying to take a step of faith, to listen as intently as i can to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. it was great. i could be myself, and i felt happy being myself. even tho i think the other teachers might have frowned upon the way i conduct my lesson. but i have learnt not to take other's people opinions too seriously. ultimately, wats most important is what is the Will of the Father, more than the opinions of others.

went for evening mass at our church. one of the very nice moments spent with God. Thank you Father God. jus felt so good to be at mass, could jus feel His presence and warm, loving embrace and love for me. nothing else in the world mattered. during mass, the responsorial really struck me: "Blessed are they who trust in the Lord." indeed, blessed are they who totally entrust themselves, their lives, their work, their studies, their plans to God. How often in our lives do we ask, "Lord, i want to do this, but is this your Will for me?" how often do we place ourselves and what we want way above what God wants for us, eg in the decisions we make everyday, in the places we want to go, in the modules we want to do, in the way we spend our time whether to sleep, study, go out or go mass.

i thank God that today i felt and understood a little more, what it means to carry my cross, yet surrender it to Christ. To carry my cross, is to face, endure, accept the fear, anxiety, pessimism, the lack of courage and disappointment and discouragement when we are stressed. and to surrender is to admit and accept the fact that i have no control over the things in my life. that is a scary situation. yet trusting in Him that He will provide everything. and that doesn't jus take humility. It takes GREAT humility.

hope u understand wat i'm saying cos i'm quite sleepy rite now. Praise God for allowing me to encounter Him again in the solemn-ness of His presence at mass today.

eve