thank you steven!

i wanted to pull a suzy sticks and put all this on the tagboard but too long lar! haha. welcome back by the way, suzy q! you have so many names!

anyway, steven, thank you for that beautiful sharing. yes, it was nothing short of beautiful. and when i read it, i immediately thought of one thing. god's promise of how when one seeks him with all his heart, seeks truth with all his heart, one is sure to find him. and god keeps his promises. i couldn't recall the verse from the bible but thanks to google, i found these 3 which i think really relate to your experience. steven, you were strong and courageous. you didn't give in and you didn't give up! you have searched for so long and you have found and now you seek him in everything and the more you are doing that, the more he is restoring peace within you! isn't that beautiful? yesterday's gospel talked about the peace which jesus gives us that surpasses all understanding and your experience is a testimony of his promises made manifest in you as said in the following verses! so thank you for your "yes" to god and thank you for sharing.

Jeremiah 29:13, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (NIV)

Philippians 4:6-7, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” (NLT)

Joshua 1:9, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (NIV)

and thanks for sharing about your isolation, the role of suffering in this process and how you learnt to be at peace with it. you know, as the days pass, i'm getting more and more scared of going to new zealand alone. i'm scared i'll get lonely and depressed! i'm scared i'll miss home too much! i'm worried about reno (my dog) and my grandma. i know i'm gonna miss a big part of our msc formation programme. i don't know what i'm going to do about my internship. sometimes, i don't know whether i made the right decision. i know i was so sure before. but like you steven, i wonder how i'll feel when i board the plane and finally leave singapore with just me, myself and i. i think i've never really shared with the community my experience when i travelled last year, about how the moment i took off from changi airport, squashed between 2 strangers in the air last year, i felt god telling me that even up there in the sky, away from everyone i loved, he was with me. and how for the whole 3 and a half to 4 months after that, i always knew he was there.

brothers and sisters, let us not grow soft in faith and perseverance! as for me, i really want to take my faith to a deeper level but i lack commitment and discipline. i thought about the notion of living a transformed life. if i really was transformed, it should seep into every area of my life! and i know the reason is because i am not making a whole-hearted effort. please pray for me and i give you permission to keep me accountable! i only have one and a half months left in singapore and i actually wanted to journey with a spiritual director but, how like that? any advice?

told you this would be too long to put on the tagboard. all else said and done, san sern pra jaao indeed!

love,
shireen