What are you going to do this week to walk more closely to Jesus?

today as i read my mail, i read the daily email from good news ministry reflection. i was so shock as the very first sentence to the last seems to speak to me so directly.

every mon, i will still feel dreadful about going to school to face my class, cos i cannot control their noise level. tho it seems like a small thing and that every other teacher prob experience the same thing as well, however, it still bothers me alot. and almost every sunday night i would not be able to sleep well cos i would be too stressed thinking about it and worrying about. i've tried many ways of overcoming it. praying to surrender, preparing well, trying to face it squarely, trying to embrace it, trying to forget about it by occupying myself with other activities, trying to trust in God that He will put the right words in my mouth... yet i never seem to be able to overcome this dreadful feeling and sense of inadequacy. it's so tiring that it drains me physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually.

cos i'm so drained and tired, i end up looking for immediate comfort as much as i can, in r/s, in frens, in watching tv, in spending money, in eating.

after i read the email, then i realize that i'm looking for the solution in the wrong place. i was trying to overcome the prob all this while. but no, it is not to be so. wat i shd be looking for, is to find peace and joy in the face of the struggle. and peace and joy, can only be found in God. i have been trying to find the solution, sometimes from God, sometimes from myself. but i shd be looking for God, full stop. i shd jus be looking for God and God only, not looking for God while looking for a solution.

i came to realize that the reason why i struggle so much is not becos i haven't found the solution. it is becos i dun have the peace and joy of Christ to face the struggle. and precisely becos i have experienced wat it means to be in peace and joy in the face of struggles that, now that i can't experience the peace and joy, it is frustrating me, not the struggles.

in the email, they ask: "what are you going to do this week to walk more closely to Jesus?" "what is the obstacle that is preventing me from getting through the struggle with peace and joy?"

another observation i made is also everytime i do something to Jesus (no matter positive or negative), the exact same thing will happen to me in my r/s. if i make more effort to give of myself to Jesus, i will receive more in my r/s. if i am self-centred and neglect Jesus, i will get the lack of attention and feel hurt in my r/s. how ironic, but it is almost always hundred percent accurate.

Dear Jesus, pls tell me how to walk closer with You, Lord. You know how weak i am, Lord. Grant me Lord, pls the strength to even make a conscious effort and decision to choose to seek You and You only Lord. Grant me Lord the peace and joy Lord in facing this struggle Lord. Amen.

Lynn

Time to submit a paper!!!

Dearest Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

It time for me to share this ... I have promised to do so a couple of weeks ago but i hestitated because i was really wondering whether what i am sharing here is really God's Will ... Here I am going to share something that is going to be personal ... It took a Spirit of Courage to share with you about what has revealed to me during my 2 hours of prayer time whether it's really God's will for me to further my studies. To discover God's Will is to really know and discover your desires ... and here's what i have come to discover over that 2 hours... I can't gurantee that this is God's Will but I really need the prayers of the COmmunity to help me to persevere through my 3 - 3.5 years of studies.

But before i continue, I would like to share something about what i learnt in the Men's Group through Edwyn. That prayer from your heart can really touched God's Heart and change your life. Yesterday, during session, I was sharing some of my difficulties of relating to God though my life has been pretty smooth especially in the area of my work ... really have nothing to complain since i have been receiving so much praises from my colleagues (which i really don't know why). But struggle comes because there has been a lot of negative voices from within and i know deep inside me that these are not from God. What happened was that during the closing prayer last night, i felt that i praying from the heart ... asking God to help us to to start looking at our blessings in our lives again and to hear His Voice more and more and true enough, last evening, so many things actually happened ... I began to see my blessings in my life and that God began to reveal to be how blessed I am and to really show me that I am His Beloved Son of the Father... Praise be to God!!! Will share details some other time ... but i have to admit that whatever happened last night was affirmation for me that has given me the green light to go ahead with my studies .. I don't have to worry and i just have to surrender my lousy plans to Him and He will do the rest so long as i do my best.

So here it's ... how I actually discern whether this is really God's Call ... for me, i strongly believe that i have to search my deepest desire and to look into my personal salvation history and God's Purpose in my life .. his purpose of creating me. - be prepared gonna be a long one man ... it's taken from my prayer journal with the Lord.

1. Born with this condition

After going through this major operation, my desire to do this pharmaceutical management course grew deeper and deeper. Taking medication makes a lot of sense to me and by doing so, it changed my perspective of life. This has truly make a disciple of God because it has made more disciplined, has increased my ability to manage my time better.

I always have this deep belief tat I was born with this condition for a purpose and the Lord allowed me to continue my life with long term medication. He could have healed me completely without any medication .. why is it that he allowed it ... i believe this is allowed me to see the value of drugs. That medicinal drugs, created by him through plants etc etc are meant to heal as well and not necessarily thru physical healing that is possible as well. Taking cyclosporine, for instance, is a kind drug that is found in some microorganism... these microorganism is also created by the Lord himself to heal people.

My desire increases has i began to be more interested in the way how drugs are discovered and can really improve the lives of others esp the medicinal chemistry behind the drugs that i take and how it can affect the lives of others.

2. First Encounter

My MSN address ... chem_freak was not there for no reason... and Evelyn would not compose my 21st Birthday Song, with the phrase "Chemistry Freak" for no purpose. But honestly, my chemistry is not that fantastic but i really enjoyed studying this subject.

In any case, my very first encounter with Chemistry was when I was in Secondary Three. I was so inspired by how Mrs Selena Tan, my chemistry teacher taught me back then. My eyes would literally open big big one ... and together with some of my classmates, we would all sit right in front during her lessons.

For those who don't know about me, well, i was from the Normal Academic Class back then. There was one particular test which really shocked me la. I did so well for that test that i topped the whole cohort la (including among express students). My love for chemistry brought me further to pursue a diploma in chemical process technology. Oh ya, moreover, I took part in a chemistry competition in Secondary 3 and i came in second after Ken Mendoza (some of you might know who is he). He's actually from our parish and currently finish his bachelor's in Chemical Engineering in Imperial College. He will be coming back to Singapore for good (most probably la).. in fact, he join us for a period of time (Youthworks then)... Oh ya, the interesting things was that the person who join me in my chemistry competition team was Daryl Spykerman. Daryl Spykerman is now working with Edwyn in CAYC .. such a small world.

Anyway, as i was saying, whilst pursuing this diploma course, i was further inspired by two of my lecturers who taught me Pharmaceutical Chemistry. Wow ... can you believe it after 4 years of graduation, i still can draw the Penicillin molecular structure... I am crazy over this structure la. My love for the Pharmaceutical chemistry grew during tat period.

3. Consolation speaking to Colin Ong

Well, somewhere in February, I knew at that point in time that i had to decide whether i should apply for NUS Chemistry or Pharmaceutical Management - MDIS. Of course, if i have this opportunity i would rather further my studies - full time. Back then, I felt it was so timely since i already had done my operation hence, I wanted to further my studies.

When I had a conversation with Colin Ong and my mother that very day, when I was deciding to do NUS Chemistry or Pharmaceutical Management, my heart seemed to tell me to go ahead with Pharmaceutical Management even though, in my head, i know that NUS Chemistry is more recognized than the private course. That was the first time when i actually experienced what it means when people say ... follow your heart. Well, for those who know me well, i can't sit still for nuts. I must move around one ... to meet people and i am not that kind of person who really likes research. I have been working with NUS for 1.5 years and during which, i was given some opportunity to do polymer synthesis ... and i don't really enjoy it .. though the theory behind really excites me. It's really quite annoying when you spend so much time .. up to about 7 days and you only get a few milligram of products...waste my time man ... i don't have tat patience. As such, NUS chemistry, which usually trains people to be researchers .. working in the lab ..which is not really my cup of tea. Though, in NUS Chemistry, I could actually major in Drug Chemistry but yet i have no inclination to drugs itself.

As for Pharmaceutical Management, it balances both management techniques and laboratory work ... and of course, a lot of drilling into drugs-related modules (which will make me go crazy during the lessons...). As for me, I really hope that after my graduation, if God will, I hope to see myself to work in hospitals or A-STAR .. going into IP Management, Clinical Trials .. etc etc. (more office based rather than in the labs).

In conclusion for this section, the fact that I was able to make clear decision of what is my real desire clearly shows God is kinda of approving me to further my studies. In another words, for me, it was like clearing one obstacle to another step by step.

4. Prayer time (Adoration Time)

I realli hope this is from God Himself. During that time when i was really sitting praying about this ... oh ya, my sole purpose of praying at that time was purely on discerning this ... As i was closing my eyes, what i saw was an image of 3 cyclosporine tablets that went through my throat. It kinda of spoke to me but i don't really know what it means. But i was filled with joy as i saw this ... it could be .. go ahead ... do not worry. To me, it was like an affirmation from the Lord.

5. Season for everything

About 3 - 4 years ago, i applied for this course and was already accepted into it but because of my condition, i had to wait a little while. At that point in time, the season was not right ... there is a season for everything.

Beginning of this year, I felt quite strongly that the time has come and it is much more appropriate to go for it since i had already down my operation. And my situation is so much better than before.

Initially, there were plans for me to pursue it in April 2007 but i realise that it was not timely as yet as I just started with a new job and i still have my confirmation class to finish up with. And it was so ironic that, when I got my offer letter, i was exempted from one of my bridging modules as such, I don't have to start my course early which is supposed to be in early september. But instead mid-september, which the confirmatio camp is over!!! And confirmation day itself is on 23rd September and as long as i finish up all the administrative stuff early, i guess nothing much to be done other than ensuring that parents-&-god parents got our instructions well-communicated.

Through this, I was able to see that everything was already well-planned by the Lord. First, I needed time to settle in with my new job which, interestingly, i was able to settle in pretty fast. Second, that course starts just right smark after my confirmation class is over... and i can say bye bye to my beloved students. Oh ya, the fact that i able to persevere through my desire (3- 4 years)shows that it's really my deep desire ...

6. New Job

Well, having God provided me with this job, which i initially even struggled to leave NUS Chemistry because of some of my initial worries, I can sense that this is truly God's Providence for me.

With this new job, I am much more satisfied and happier than before and truly God always has a better plan. There has been many affirmation from my new colleagues that this would be the best place to study and work ... the stress level is not that high here and God has provided me with a desk location for me to study and pray peacefully.

Moreover, I given very good flexi benefit here .. $600 for me to pay for my book per financial year. And moreover, i am given up to 12 study leave per year ... Cool right? So i don't have to use my annual leave to study for my exams. There is another benefit which I have yet to get the result, that my monthly medical which cost up to about $100 plus and $300 plus (medication via CPF) might be able to claim back ... i am still waiting for approval from the Insurance company which was the arrangement with my current company.

So what were some of my obstacles that i faced initially which I felt that i don't even have to worry because God will take care of them ...

1. Financially Burdened

One morning, during my prayer time, I had a wisdom that came to me and I believe it was from the Holy Spirit. With this thought in my mind, I shared it with my mother yesterday evening about the plans. I felt that there wasn't any much worry for me now ... I will just settle in for the first year and see how it goes and i am not going to apply for any loan which saves me some money from the 3% interest.

Well, last year, was good time where the Lord showed me that He provides especially with my operation... For those who doesn't know, my mother did not have to pay a single cent for her operation as she applied for some scheme. The operation (for my mother and myself), we came up to about $30K and in the end, turn out to be only $5k which we did not have to pay a single cent (cash) but only through CPF. It really teaches me that God really do take care of us ... if we were to surrender our plans to him and not to worry so much la ...

Moreover, the fact that he changed my job so that my salary will increase ... another's another providence for me.

Knowing my character, i know that I am person who need to be disciplined through different situation. For instance, struggling with my medication has always been an issue for me but through the major operation, to me it's really nothing ... it's really small case in my life now... praise be to God ... hence, i felt that the Lord is disciplining me to control and manage my finance well through my desire to further my studies. I believe by going through this finanicial burden God is answering my prayer to learn to spend more wisely than before and manage my finance better.

2. Commitment Issues

The other obstacle which I struggled initially was my many commitments that i am in now. With work, MSC, MSC Core, Men-to-Men, and finally Catechism, i was really wondering how am I going to even cope with my studies, but now, I realised that i do not even have to worry.

As for catechism, as i mentioned earlier ... finishes in September 2007 after my students gets confirmed and i felt it's really time for me to move on after teaching for 9 years.... and i have to really concentrate on the Young Adults of the Parish... especially those who left the church or those who find it difficult to see God in their daily life.

Next, I have already had the opportunity to speak to Edwyn about my struggles of leaving the Men to Men group because I was worried that my faith will be affected since it has helped me greatly in my journey over the past one year plus. But he shared with me that it doesn't matter which group that i am going to be with so long as there is someone in my life that going to journey with.... preferably a priest - a spiritual director ... something that i have to work on soon before i leave men to men for the next 3 years or so.

So that left with me the MSC Core, ... oh well, God is good man ... since i am exempted from 2 modules in my first year, i have more time with MSC still ... as such i only take 2 modules per term hence, i still can contribute much and i don't much lessons for my first year. So God was already answering my prayer even before the course actually starts...

Oh ya ... last but not least, Edwyn did mentioned something which i felt was very important for me... that the support from the people around you especially your family is so important ... with my mother's great support to pursue my studies, I believe i am able to pull through all the way to the end ... so my dearest Community ... must support me with prayer okay?

THE END ... (Finally) ...

With Love,
Your brother in Christ,
Colin Sng

Training

today is friday, cross country day for my school. haven't been reflecting much cos am jus always tired and not feeling well and busy, wat else can it be.

but i jus want to pen down something to think about God again. how easily i forget about God in my life. so near, yet so far. as i recall my horrible week, came to a realization that all things work for good. been drilled about this fact a million times yet, when the actual event comes in my life, it is not as easy as abc to switch into tha mode and jus trust in God. alot of things in our life need training. jus like how kids need training to get from waiting outside the classroom to inside the classroom quietly, they need to be "trained", several times before they really "get it". it sounds absurd but it's really true that we need training. training to get used to God's ways, training to be familiar with God's ways, training to handle things God's ways and training to see things God's ways.

every time we talk about training, i'll think of the refining silver story. there was this blacksmith who heats the silver in the fire, to purify it. he cannot leave it alone for a second, and he has to stay there the whole time the silver is being purified. only when the silver starts to reflect his image is it then truly purified. and we are the silver, being purified in the torture and heat of life, while God the blacksmith is patiently molding and purifying us. till when? until we reflect His image in our lives. it's indeed a tough and hard process, nevertheless, it is necessary.

Lynn

A New Me

I need to pen this down in words, in fear that the feeling will go away tmr. I am awed by your sharing, i am awed by everything which happened today.

in cons' words,'testifying and sharing with people this whole experience, that we are building His kingdom'
My heart is open, my thoughts are true, with this I will know more bout you


Tmr marks the last day I will be at NUS. This week had been a great one for me, that studying at NUS has prepared me well for the exams, but the exp of it all is more fruitful than working for the grades itself

I thank lord for all of you who studied with me, being an encouragement to go for mass everyday, sharing over topics close to our hearts despite our horrendous tasks ahead of us

I thank lord for the openness in heart and mind towards one another.
B4 I came to NUS, I didn’t know much bout ppl, I had my own cognitive mindset of individuals based on how they behave and my past beliefs of things. But all these changed. And I am awed that it took one week to see things in another perspective.

Thank you colin for your sharing with me over lunch the other day. It made me understand things better, about your relationships and the hardship you went through all these years, and sharing with me about the exact feelings you went through during the major quarrel with people in the community last year. B4 that conversation, I was an earthly being thinking you will not understand the struggles I have in my life, now I feel you know more than i think, more importantly you care to listen and speak up your opinions. And I thank you for that for you challenged me the way no one had.

For it opened the flood gates for more pondering along the way,

During dinner at NUS subway today, I met my OCS buddy. First thought which came to my mind was ”Oh no”. not that he has done any wrong against me, but was the ‘ME’ I was afraid to face

So I avoided him altogether, had some surface conversation, excused myself and stroll around the campus. It felt weird, the feeling of avoidance, because I didn’t know why I was doing what I was doing.

Just after the study session, by the grace of god, I was asked by kendrick bout my army experience. I didn’t share about the glamour and glory, about winning awards, winning competitions and stuff, I started off with me being last in class for test, belittled by the rest of the cohort, out casted, out shunned during my days as a cadet. These were issues bout myself I never shared with people before. The feeling of getting outcasted, feeling that you are not good enough really leave a lingering effect on me even till today. that was the real me during army.

Did it start to make me feel inferior?

Feel as if I am not good enough for anywhere

Which made me spin stories, impress people till I don’t know who I am anymore

When I started my 1st term in University, it gives a sense of satisfaction that I was a national cyclist, I got into accident while representing Singapore for some competition when the fact is, I was a young inexperienced rider who injured himself because he did not cherish life enough and wanted to fit in shoes which were too big for him.

Pride gave me short term happiness and long term agony as I divert further and further away from the truth. Not wanting to know who I really am, living a lie all these while

The time in NUS was like a new life altogether. Not lying ( the one at Eusoff hall not counted hoh, I really heard wrongly), carrying my cross, accepting the little to no power I have, leaving things in god’s hands, having quiet time with him everyday, spending quality time with people who don’t judge you, people who laugh with you, people who accept you for who you really are even though he may know that you are lying again ( thanks Kenny☺).

It make me understand more about myself, and come to terms that my deepest regret was lying at times to people who really love me.


Kenny stress over physics, exhausted now and then,the pulling of hair, trying to suffocate himself with his pulloever, Alvin totally absorbed with his assignment, mel Cons totally unstressed at all, Colin’s company during lunch, and deep sharing with me, Kendrick, a new brother who I was glad to be able to talk to, and the one who unexpectedly sparked off this realization of who I am, and the gal who got Kenny all excited today, I guess I am going to miss all of it. I am really awed by how the lord spoke to me this whole week, and end of it all, i thank him for the transformation I see in myself, which affirms me that our lord is here, at our first breath of our day, in times of darkness, in times of joy, and I am most willing to surrender all of my life’s work, myself to you and your work.

Mon is gonna be my 22th birthday. 2 years back, on my 20th birthday, I was alone, with people I don’t really know in Taiwan. And that was one of my most stressful moments during my army days, it was a make it break it kind of situation and I thought I would never make through it. I cried alone in the dark, Feeling unfair, why I had to be given such a heavy responsibility, why I could not enjoy my birthday with my love ones. I said a prayer to the lord. These were my exact words,” if you are really there, deliver me from all these nonsense, I don’t deserve this.” Then a unexpected bunch of people had a mini celebration for me at this small room in an army camp in the midst of a division exercise. I was touched but never thank the lord for it

My 21st birthday was not at some hotel, or at sentosa as i will want, I spent it hiding in my house, afraid to face the world with my hedious face. I wanted the day to pass quickly. then another unexpected bunch of friends turned up at my doorstep. It may not be a grand 21st, but I was touched yet again.

A day later will be my 22th b day. I seriously have nth to ask for.To be able to know you, your descendents, the many ppl today who do your work. There are just too many experiences and too many things which happened within these few mths to say you have never there for me

Thank you for everything. I cannot ask for more.
and thank you all of you, for being there for me all these while

Steven

testify to love.

i didnt plan to blog here today, but i read everrrrlynnn's post and was so amazed at the timely-ness of it! haha.

yest, while studying i was very distracted by some haunting questions. how am i fulfilling my purpose in building God's kingdom when im living my life stuck in the library studying in school. so during lunch i shared with my friends and i was telling them that i can say for now studying is my vocation so i will lift up the day of studying as a form of worship and ya, im doing all this not for my own glory but for the glory of God, but that's a very know-in-the-mind kinda thinking and how much of that do i believe in my heart? for all i know, i may be just studying so hard (ok, quite hard la..) just to get good grades to keep the record, or just so ppl will hold me in higher regard or sth. in short, just to glorify myself la.. and that was disturbing.

one of my friends then said that it's in the realisation that it was by His grace that God brought us through this stressful period and being grateful and giving Him the glory by testifying and sharing with people this whole experience, that we are building His kingdom. and i was very struck by this and was very affirmed again, of the power of sharing and testifying to His love.

went for mass yest evening and felt really challenged by fr richards' sermon. he asked us, What do u want from God? What are you praying for? things of this life or of virtues and values that are more important for our life with Christ in eternity. What is our faith rooted in? How do we know if the things we are doing for God are the things He wants us to do for Him?

and he told us to pray more and discern. haha. yes, discern. i was there thinking, 'oh no.. not that word again! i dunno how to discern!!' and haha.. my answer arrived in the form of everlynnn's sharing! (: yayness.

but.. alot of questions to think about..

and erm, im not going for session tmr! mon morn paper i haven finished studying!! die..
no no wun die! cannot die. haha..

Discernment is not in the big things; it starts in the tiniest of matters in our daily living

hi ppl,

had a very tiring but much better week this week than the last. am so sian now, cos it's sat and i've no plans and it's boring yet i have to mark test papers but i dun feel like and blah blah blah...

last nite had core meeting and i was there slightly late, didn't have a chance to go ado before that. was tired and not really in the disposition to discuss and listen to God. was deciding whether to go for ado first but somehow decided n ot to. how easily i fall into temptation like this and how real that temptation comes one after the other. the moment u fall for one, it becomes easier and easier to fall for another in the next few hours. cos wat happened was, i planned to go for evening mass, but somehow didn't feel as terrible a struggle in work as the previous week, so somehow jus didn't decide to go. felt that it was unfaithfulness on my part, like jus cos i dun really need the peace and quiet, i didn't think mass was that impt and jus didn't put it as priority. and simply allowed other things like work take over precedence. and then when i went to church for meeting, act wanted at least a longer prayer time, but jus didn't make sure i had that cos jus simply allowed myself to "go with the flow". so while waiting for jean, had a chance to go ado a short while and told God that i acknowledge this unfaithfulness and so i will make up for it by going morning mass. again it was tempting not to go, cos when i woke up in the morning, i realize my dad could be using the car. svdp mass ends at 730am and he needs the car at 745am. i'm like: maybe shouldn't go cos i may be late and then my dad will be late. i went back to sleep. after lying down for the next 30 seconds, i know the gnawing feeling that i was going through temptation and it will come one after another and it did, each one more serious then the previous time. so finally i literally pulled myself out of bed and went for mass.

how subtle these things can pass us by. more often than not, we're too caught up with what we feel, what we want to do, what makes us more comfortable that we have no more energy and time to think about being holy to listen to God to do these tiny and seemingly unimportant things. but it's really in listening in these small matters that will teach us and give us the platform to listen to Him in the big matters like vocation, career, marriage, studies, attachment, overseas exchange programmes, holiday job and internships. why is it that we find it hard to discern? cos we thought that discernment only comes in the big matters, but that's not true. discernement must be first experienced and practised in the tiniest matters of our daily living before we really know and understand the workings and movements of the Holy Spirit. To understand the workings and movements of the Spirit is to be able to identify what is God saying when certain events happen in a certain way. how often do we seek His Will in our lives in the tiniest matter? are our lives and our time truly ours to keep, to control, to decide, to dictate, to claim and to possess? What happens to the Holy Spirit living and working in us like wat St paul said?

May God reign in the tiniest matters of our daily living.
Lynn

hi pals!!

tired... shag...deranged after studying

right bout now, mel and alvin are still at central library!

by the time kenny and cons read this, they will be," hiyah, no free ride to sch today!"

10 bucks say i will the earliest again tmr!

anyway i thank god that despite all the tiredness, i am touched by the sharing of collin during lunch today and preaching of father ambrose.

ok collin, don't worry.. u are not long winded mate!
i am quite sure your writing is more structured than some people like ME!!!

hahah!

anyway father ambrose preach bout how we cannot compromise our faith. when there are no 2 ways, either u follow or you don't. he say it in such a affirmed way, it doesn't sound like a warning but his sure speaks great volume


is our relationship with god an angry one??

do we put him in perspective, does he come first in everything?

someone shared with me the other day that even at our death bed, we have to go thru a test, a devil and an angel will come to ask you to choose your path. i was thinking, the devil being so smart will not come with red horns and a skewer as seen in cartoons, neither will he blow out flames, i think he will come in the form our greatest desires in our lives, for some, it may be a promise of a land full of money!, fame! , maybe for me, he will come in the form our Lance Armstrong, asking me to join him for tour defrance...!

ok maybe i have been thinking too much, and its hard to imagine wat will happen at our death bed, my point is, i was challenged today during mass bout where our lord is in our lives. if we are not able to rid ourselves of earthly pleasures, do god's will, putting our lord first in everything, how can we be convinced by wat our returns in heaven is like?

arti fatrti me!

ok yest i was at orchard library. suppose to study there but i spent much, if not all of my time reading TIME mag( they have all the latest issues jean!) and book on 'Renaissance history and art'.


Do you know, that the movement of renaissance period was started by franciscians under St Francis Assicis!

the cross we use for P&W, is an art piece! K maybe you guys are going 'duh....' now, sorry! i was just enlightened today!

anyway prior to knowing the history behind the painting, when i first saw the cross in our room, the first thought which came to my mind was," huh... why the picture cartoon one, he doesn't even look like he is in pain!"

So praise lord, my 'intense study' of ART gave me new insights bout the painting itself. Don't you think that Jesus looks elevated and not pinned to the cross itself-nth can prevent him from doing his works
and his buttocks were enhanced to show the humanity and humility in him, to show that he was one of us and lived like one of us! and died for all of us.

so it wasn't a bad painting, it was done on purpose, an interpretation the artist wanted us to achieve on our own curiosity, so that it will leave a vivid impression in all of us!

anyway if you wanna borrow the book, get it at Orchard Library! since majority 99.9% of Singaporeans are more engrossed in stupid chinese variety shows( ok i am stereotyping ha!) , the book should be available most of the time.

Ok happy studying everyone... gonna zip my mouth for rest of the day, very hard can!



steven!!!

just Me, myself and my I Pod, I mac and so I speak

sth which struck my mind yest during mass.


taken from yest's reflection:
One simple test of whether or not you're living the radically different risen life is your attitude toward money. If you live the risen life, you aren't preoccupied with money. Like Barnabas and other disciples in the early Church, you'd gladly sell your "property or houses" for the Lord (Acts 4:34). It isn't a problem to tithe and give alms, for you're more concerned with the welfare of the needy than with possessions (Acts 4:34).

Risen life is completely different than life before the resurrection. The difference is even more striking than the contrast between the murky darkness of the womb and the dazzling brightness of sunlight (see Jn 3:3). Risen life is radically different from "non-risen" life. To a person not living the risen life, understanding risen life is like a child in the womb trying to understand the wind outside the womb (see Jn 3:8). They probably can't understand why someone would tithe, but they do hunger for the joy, newness, peace, and freedom they see in those who truly live the risen life.(remember to include ur name AND label at the end!!)

I felt a set of mixed emotions when i saw the word 'money!'

happy cos i know money does not satisfy my thirst, but who am I lying to when I have my materialistic wants! like the new I Pod Video (HD), a new I mac, my CK underwear and Polo Ralph shirt! how to get them if i don't have money!

But i learned yesterday that those of the disciples who were rich like barnabas and st francis assicis, sold everything they have in possessions to follow our lord!

Of cos we are not called to beg on the streets now... but i was thinking in line of materialistic wants in our lives. i feel short changed! didn't go for Jonathon pele's talk the other day! will someone like to share?

steven!

i have a verbal diarrhoea

i have so much to share now! cos kenny, melt and alvin make me shut my mouth at library today :I

collin! you had your dinner? sorry was studying... haha ph was on silent. anyway join us for lunch again tmr! n no more jap food can! the rice cheap quality one! and the milk shade taste and look gross! hahha k i shd not complain. or i will be asked to shud dup again!

anyway today was just beautiful... somehow i always come back to the jungles very happy when i study at nus, unexplainable! just felt the time will always be well spent and i feel closer to our lord after every study session. and guess its all thx to you you and you! yes you! who is reading this right now, who is awed by the power of faith and community too!

we went for mass at holy cross. like eve, it felt good to be thr after a day's work, after a day of studying which was actually not stressful at all! unexplainable! maybe cos being with u guys serve as a reminder to 'let go', don't get get stressed up and let god take care of my studies! anyway somehow it feels diff to go mass with the community as compared to going alone! even though i was told once that mass is the personal time betw u and god(any opinion on this?)... but it feels good to have friends who u really care about ard! and the dinner which is packaged with it! i won't mind travelling from 1 end to another just to rekindle that feeling.

today's homily left me thinking bout wat it takes to be a christian, and how i can make a diff to the rest of the world! ok actaully this challenge was posed by father fred to the 4 ppl in black shirts today! and no! tmr we gonna wear hot pink k! well anyway i haven't thought bout today's homily yet... hopefully will have some juice to think later

so today was really well spent. all the way from the time i caught my 1st conscious time to the time we parted at the bus stoP! i just feel so gd now!! argh,
es
anyway my exam is on wed not tmr! pray for me! and ye! see u guys same place tmr!

steven on 100% feel good pill!